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Roses are red Your thong is pink Cover that up You`re not as hot as you think.
The Wizard of Oz is really just a cautionary tale about the lengths a woman will go to for the right shoes.
You`re not a geek or a nerd because you always have to have the latest high tech gadgets and electronics. YOU`RE RICH
there are so many scams on the internet now...... Send me $19.95 an I`ll tell you how you can avoid them
I was asked what I look for in a relationship. Apparently, "A way out" wasn`t the right answer.
I`d say 20% of my day is spent trying to convince the dog we`re not about to be murdered by the UPS guy, mailman, squirrels, or the ice dispenser..
What idiot called it Adderall instead of Accomplish Mints?
Ever had one of those days that you feel like you should have skipped the morning coffee and went straight for the booze?
I`ve been catfishing my best friend for the last 3 weeks. He`s gunna pay me that $50 he owes me or I`m showing these emails to his wife.
If I would have known there would be a Facebook, I would have written “eff off forever” instead of “keep in touch” in your yearbook.
The only time I`ve ever used sex to get what I want is when I want sex.
Do short people start their childhood stories with "when I was little", too?
Being an adult is 99% wondering how you hurt your back.
"Huh?" (my thought for the day)
Its Friday ... my body is in for a much-needed drinking session