Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Most problems can be solved with nudity
“Wow! My political opinion just changed because of what you posted on Facebook” – said no one ever.
The best thing about telepathy is…I know, right?
"Give me your finest meal, money is of no concern." ~ Me at McDonald`s on pay day.
"They Dared Me To" should be a legitimate excuse in a Court of Law.
Attention!! Today I am traveling back in time to right some wrongs in this world. You will know I succeeded if the Germans lost WW2 and that Thursday comes before Wednesday.
After 20 years of marriage, my wife still makes me smile. At least for the pictures...
If your girlfriend claims to never look at your Facebook profile, change your status to "single" and wait 5 minutes.
If you are stalking me, please keep up, I have a lot of errands today.
Kinda surprised I`m not an action figure by now.
Nothing says "friend zone" quite like a girl saying "you`re like a brother to me." (Disregard this message if you`re from Alabama)
My kitchen is actually nothing more than a fruit hospice
Someday, the time I waste deciding what to watch on Netflix will be shorter than the actual time watching it
Ok Brazil, this would be a time when it`s ok to bite an opponent.
Most days I think I understand women, but then the alcohol wears off.