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Hey, somebody get ready to wake up the guy in Green Day.
I usually don`t argue with the doctor but I don`t think "Batshit Crazy" is a legitimate medical term.
I wish I could afford to be as weird as I wanna be.
Sometimes all you need, is 500 million dollars.
Saying the word "awkward" in an awkward situation only makes it more awkward. Especially if you sing it.
You know nothing about a woman, until she is drunk and mad at you.
I`m not saying I hate you, but I`d unplug your life support to charge my phone.
Adding “and sh!t” to the end of a sentence to make it sound cooler and sh!t.
Are the unmarried employees at Kraft known as Kraft singles?
McDonalds ... closing thigh gaps since 1967.
Okay, I am getting really irritated. This is the 5th ATM I`ve been to today that`s had "insufficient funds".
There is a gym called Anytime Fitness. I choose 2030.
Who is the genius that decided Little League uniforms be white? My guess is Tide laundry detergent.
You may think I`m a loser, but to my goldfish, I`m the god of flakes.
Is it physically possible to be sad in rollerskates? Cause I think my cat`s just being dramatic.