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I just got the results of my IQ test. It came back negative.
I have a fold up treadmill under my fold up bed, so by the time I get the treadmill set up, I`m like "That`s enough exercise for today"
I was born to make mistakes, not to fake perfection.
Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like shoveling the walk while it´s still snowing
I have 500 friends and only 499 Birthday wishes on facebook! I`ll remember that when it`s YOUR birthday #405!!!
The older I get, the more I enjoy being bored.
The only thing I ever throwback on Thursdays are drinks
is it just me, or did anyone else think that we would be living like the Jetson´s by 2011?
Don´t be stupid, it´s not smart.
I hate when I accidentally eat everything in sight.
You`re not the sharpest knife in my back.
My “I hate you” face must look a lot like my “I’m loving this conversation” face.
Neighbors at it again. I do NOT want to know the words to "Wrecking Ball" by Miley Cyrus!
you`re about as useless as a red light in grand theft auto
Sometimes people don`t notice or appreciate the things we do for them, until we stop doing it. Then they are like, “Why don’t you stalk me anymore”