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I suffer from paranoid-schizophrenic indifference. I really don`t care what the voices in my head are saying behind my back.
Everything happens for a reason. That`s why I drink to everything!
i don`t care if u don`t like me ........... i am not a facebook status:D
The only 2 things that I love and enjoy about being an adult is having sex and drinking alcohol.
Ever wanna tell someone to shut the f*ck up even when they are not speaking
I used to be a terrible flirt ... I am much better at it now.
’twas the night before Christmas and all through the house, everyone was screaming ... cuz I went into the wrong house.
Someone once said, “Find a job you love and you’ll never work a day in your life.” So, I’m pleased to announce the grand opening of my titty squeezing business!!
Coffee, you`re on the bench ... Alcohol suit up!!
I stopped going to AA because all of their stories were about how they hit rock bottom by waking up next to me.
If everybody was consistently as determined as they are when they carry all groceries in one trip, this world would be in a better place.
everyone is BEAUTIFUL in there own way--your just to UGLY to see that
If steroids are illegal for athletes shouldn`t photoshop be illegal for models?
Letting my dad play Angry Birds on my iPad is like showing a caveman fire.
I’m actually a really nice guy once you get to blow me.