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Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

umm umm u know that school where i got the degree from
You`ve reached the limitations of my medications.
You can`t make everyone happy, so today I think you should focus on me.
You gotta push yourself. Do 15 push-ups instead of 10. Run 3 miles instead of 2. Eat an entire cake instead of just one piece. Burn your ex`s house down. I believe in you!
Lightning bugs use their blinkers more than most drivers.
I love it when the person’s laugh is funnier than the actual joke.
I am totally lacking the "zippity" part of my "do dah day."
Salary is like a menstrual cycle, it comes once a month and is gone in five days...
Don`t put off until tomorrow what you can avoid the rest of your life.
I don`t know why I ever signed up for Facebook. I mean like seriously, this dating website sucks!
If Wyle E Coyote had enough cash to buy all that ACME stuff why didn’t he just buy dinner?
The only thing us men clean at home is our browser history
Remember, time is more powerful than You!!! One tree makes a million matchsticks......But when the time comes........Only 1 match stick is needed to burn a million trees......
I don`t want to brag or make anybody jealous, but I can still fit into the earrings I wore in high school.
So many fun things to say ... too many relatives on Facebook to post!