Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Hendrix didn`t need to twerk on stage. He performed the old fashioned way, relying only on his musical talents and near lethal doses of LSD.
Tomorrow is International "Cook a Steak and Then Throw It to a Seagull" Day. Get involved. Don`t question it.
If you can`t handle me at my worst...I don`t blame you, neither can I.
Who needs a social life when you have Netflix and a fridge full of food?
For every action, there is an equal and opposite government program
So far I’ve spent most of 2016 flipping off the weather channel.
You can never lose a homing pigeon. If your homing pigeon doesn`t come back, what you`ve lost is a regular pigeon.
I just realized that the only time I`m good at dancing is when I`m about to pee my pants
If you believe in reincarnation then your tombstone should say “b.r.b” instead of “r.i.p”.
I will stop drinking when Captain Morgan puts his foot down.
Water is so good when it`s mixed with grains and yeast, fermented and then distilled and aged.
Those beards make the Red Sox look like they`re going to a Civil War reenactment as Confederates.
If the breakfast club took place now, all those kids would just be silently texting about their sh!tty Saturday & never make friends w/ each other.
Do you smoke? Smokers: "Yes." Non-Smokers: "Never have, never will." Stoners: "Smoke what?"
Sometimes saying "F*ck it" is the best decision.