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The first step to admitting you have a problem is having a problem.
2003: Fear that ppl from the internet will find me in real life. 2013: Fear that ppl from real life will find me on the internet.
Always look for the girl with the ponytail holder on her wrist.
Could you guys just scroll a little? I was really funny yesterday.
The olympics is the only time when you hear "Great execution by North Korea" and it seems okay.
Hey, I found your nose. It was in my business.
Not to brag or anything, but I got the high score on my scale today.
Just saw the little boy next door licking whip cream off the cat. Pretty sure he heard something he shouldn`t have.
So glad my face doesn’t have a progress bar that shows how much I’m understanding what other people are saying.
Sometimes I get up really early, drink some coffee and read some awesome motivational quotes. Then I go back to bed.
I need medical attention, but I will settle for just regular attention.
Please don`t mistake my personality for flirting. Just because I`m awesome doesn`t mean I like you.
The only b word you should call a woman is beautiful. B!tches love to be called beautiful.
Someone asked me if I`m ever scared that I`ll be alone forever, which I thought was so rude because my cat was right there.
You can’t please everyone, so you might as well just concentrate on me.