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I’m having some vision trouble today. I can’t see myself doing anything.
I wish there was an observation deck at WalMart.
The whole purpose of vacationing is to make you appreciate knowing where the channels are at home.
We all need that special person in our lives that makes it worth while to shave our pubes.
I hope all your dreams come true, especially that one where you`re being chased by a giant spider.
An empty web browsing history is a sure sign of guilt.
Yea...sure! I was hoping someone would come and stand uncomfortably close to me today
I could defuse a bomb if it sounded like an alarm clock and I was sleeping.
Have you ever wondered if Dora is smuggling drugs in her backpack?
It must be very hard to be a Nigerian lawyer who specializes in international inheritance law.
Fun fact: Deciding where to eat is the leading cause of divorce
Join us in calling for a total ban of people. They are extremely dangerous. If you know any people, report them at once to the authorities.
I love you Mario, but you need to stop taking shrooms, breaking into haunted houses, and killing turtles! You have a dinosaur to take care of.
The fact “gorilla” does not rhyme with “tortilla” infuriates me.
wishes that more people would declare thumb wars these days. I`m sure that all this texting has prepared my thumb muscles for battle.