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I love being married. It`s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
I like the parts of the day when food happens.
I just passed the local college and saw 3 very fit young ladies with very tight yoga pants walking to class...I have never been so motivated to return to college.
Apparently, starting an impromptu game of leap frog with somebody bending over to tie their shoe is considered rude. Church is boring.
I think for Halloween I am going to go as Karma. Some of you should be worried.
Well your honor, I thought handing her the curling iron while she was showering would get her ready faster.
It`s possible you drank too much if you have to wait until your court appearance to find out what the hell happened that night
Oh you`re in the shower? Here`s the seven worst songs from your playlist. - shuffle mode
Applebees is a word that starts off pretty tame but takes a dangerous twist
Claustrophobia is the fear of closed spaces. For example: I am going to the liquor store and I`m scared that it`s closed.
Does this couch I`m laying on make me look unmotivated?
Someone asked an old man: "After 70yrs you still call your wife Darling, Honey and Luv. What`s the secret?"... Old man: I forgot her name 10 yrs ago & I`m scared 2 ask her.
It`s as if none of these people have ever seen a beer hat at the gym before.
How I talk: 25% swearing, 25% sarcasm 50% a combination of both.
is sick and tired and tired of being sick and sick of being tired!