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According to Facebook, some people I don`t remember are grilling this weekend.
All I heard was, " I swear it`ll be funny" and then we were in jail.
If its true we`re here to help others, then what exaclty are the others here for?
My Grandma would be pissed if she found out how many times she`s died so I could get out of having to go somewhere
Some young men are like bottles of wine. They need to be tended to carefully & given time to mature; which is why I keep a few in my cellar.
I would lose weight, but I hate losing..
At a wedding reception I recently attended someone said, "All the married men please stand next to the person who has made your life worth living." The bartender was nearly crushed to death.
I say ” I shouldn’t be telling you this,” at the beginning of every conversation so people will listen to what I’m saying.
Pillow forts have no age limit when you’re awesome.
I wasn`t going to get so many groceries, but there was a new girl working today and she took my check.
I`m 0-9 on finding secret rooms behind bookcases.
B!tch Please, your only fan is the one on your ceiling.
Meanwhile on Facebook someone has made a casserole
My husband`s wife is freakin` awesome!
What does "it" mean in the sentence "What time is it?"?