Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I hate it when a website greets me with a pop-up window. It just feels like you should say hi first, maybe buy me a drink.
Dear alcohol we had a deal where you were supposed to make me cool, sexy, charming and a great dancer........I seen a video......we need to talk.
You make me want to be a drunker person
is spending my children´s inheritance.
$5.99 Trojan condoms or $19.99 Huggies diapers. Choose wisely...
This Status Update could be yours for six Easy Payments of $19.99
I hate when the weather man says there is a chance of sprinkles in the forecast...makes me want donuts!!
Please, please don`t be a bitch to me. Because then I`ll have to be a bitch back and I can do it better than you.
How come dogs aren’t ticklish?
I was wondering why my doctor gave me LSD for my constipation, then I saw a dragon and crapped myself.
Uses 3 gallons of water to rinse out yogurt container so it can go into recycling bin
I`m not worried about the zombie apocalypse that is coming. I`m worried about the fcuktard apocalypse that is here right now.
I wish I could pick which brain cells the alcohol kills....There`s ALOT of crap I wish I could forget about.....
The only benefit of getting new clothes for Christmas is that I don`t have to do laundry for another week or two.
The awkward moment when you’ve already said “what?” three times and still have no idea what the person said, so you just agree.