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I`m so sick and tired of my friends who can`t handle their alcohol. The other night they dropped me 3 times while carrying me to the car.
One man`s trash is another man`s profile picture.
thinks my life is becoming a very complicated drinking game.
I sleep better naked…why can’t the flight attendant understand this?
God is creative, I mean just look at me.
If you don`t put your leftovers in Tupperware for like at least two weeks before throwing it in the trash... you`re doing it wrong.
Getting to places would be so much easier if I had a helicopter.
Bipolar smile :(: ...... Gets um everytime !
Some people have to learn lessons the hard way. Like with a bat. A bat is hard.
You should get at least 8 hours of beauty sleep... 9 if you`re an ugly bitch...
I put a bumper sticker that says "Honk if You Think I`m Sexy" on my car. Then I wait at green lights until I feel better about myself.
What happens when Batman sees Catwoman? The Dark Knight Rises.
Today has been cancelled, due to lack of interest.
Sorry a remote fell out when you took off my bra
Wait, whaddya mean... cookie dough can be baked? Seriously?