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I always wondered what the job application is like at Hooters.. do they just give you a bra and say, "here fill this out"..?
A “buttload” of underwear would be exactly one pair.
I remember when vodka was just vodka flavored ...
No Girlfriend November was a success, now for Don`t Date December, Just Me January, Forever Alone February, No Match March..... I got this.
Is somebody not editing what I´m saying here???
A bunch of us are going out for pancakes when Facebook is over, if you want to come along.
I hate when new parents ask who the baby looks like. It was born 15 minutes ago, it looks like a potato.
*uses Ouija board* NEW PHONE WHO DIS
Facebook account for sale, Friends included...
Went to a nudest camp once and all I could think was.. these are the people you see dressed in Wal-Mart that you don`t want to see naked.
You can always count on me to feel you up when you`re feeling down
If God didn`t want us to eat Animals he wouldn`t made them out of meat.
I try not to work that much. That way I make less mistakes.
I`ve done it in the bathroom, I`ve done it in the bedroom, I`ve done it in the kitchen, on the couch, outside, in the bus, yoo I just can`t seem to stop this texting.:)
The police want to interview me. Strange, I didn`t even apply for a job.