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That amazing moment when you find money in your clothes that you forgot was there.
Stay positive ladies, maybe he just didn`t hear you the first 100 times.
Sometimes all you need, is 500 million dollars.
I was on way home this morning when I seen an AA van pulled in and the driver was crying his eyes out. I thought to myself that guy is heading for a breakdown.
What if the weather talks about us?
When someone says I love you over the phone and you don`t feel the same, just say `I love youtube` but say it really fast!
I said "sad face emoji" instead of actually frowning today if you want to know how out of touch with reality I am.
I wish the buck stopped here…I could use a few.
I don`t need a personal trainer as much as I need someone to follow me around and slap unhealthy food out of my hands.
Just watched The Grey. The wolves left half the Mexican .. to spicy??
We get it poets: things are like other things
Impressing the McDonald’s drive thru people with my music is always a top priority.
You know you are desperate for an answer when you look at the second page of Google.
I can’t tell if I’m hungry, but better eat just in case.
Scientists say the universe is made up of protons, neutrons and electrons. They forgot to mention Morons!