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I want to cover you in expensive things…like gasoline.
My favorite part of the day? The food part.
The bible says you can`t buy your way into heaven but there isn`t a church in the country that won`t encourage you to try.
I only drink alcohol because there aren`t enough ways to eat it.
I watched my first Porn the other day. I looked so much younger back then!
Never make decisions when you are angry....or horny.
One day we the women will rap the men lets see how they like it!
This morning, I was beaten up by a busty woman in an elevator. I was staring at her boobs when she said, “Would you please press 1?” So I did. I don’t remember much afterwards.
Artificial intelligence is a wonderful thing. I told my computer that today is my birthday, and it said that I needed an upgrade.
Did you ever notice: When you put the 2 words “The” and “IRS” together it spells “Theirs.”
I will be good today... I will be good today... I will be good today... Yeah.... I didn`t believe it either..
Gotta thin the herd. – me eating animal crackers
One of us spends too much time on Facebook.
Hmmmmm,,,, Turns out all this time, I’ve been using a life couch instead of a life coach.
I look forward to paying off all my debt so I can get back to just being broke