Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
PLEASE - put this on your status if you know someone (or are related to someone) who has been eaten by dragons. Dragons are nearly unstoppable and, in case you didn`t know, they can also breathe fire. 93% of people won`t copy and paste this, because they have already been eaten by dragons. 6% of people are sitting in the shower armed with fire extinguishers and the remaining 1% are awesome and will re-post.
At least men and women agree on one thing, they both don’t trust women.
My life is a lot like Ikea furniture with missing instructions. I’ll get it together eventually but it won’t ever feel quite right.
Guns don`t kill people. Fathers with pretty daughters do.
When you consider names for your baby, it`s important to try out the middle name in an angry voice.
Lets be honest. Half of life is messing up and half is frantically trying to fix it.
My girlfriend told me to grow a pear… What the hell does fruit have to do with killing this spider?
If your wife has 2 phones, save both numbers under one name : “Wife” Never save them as "Wife1" and “Wife2" ~ a husband from the hospital
The TV is so loud! But not quite loud enough to make me get up and get the remote.
Guys...dont mess up and buy her the wrong brand of vacuum cleaner for Valentines Day this year. Spend a little extra for a really good one ... Just tring to help.
Always forgive your enemies. Nothing aggravates them so much. But if you really want to piss them off tell them you will pray for their souls.
I hope I’m the last guy on earth — I wanna see if all those women were lying to me.
You`re never too old to ride in a radio flyer wagon but apparently you can be too fat.
I just found a whip, a mask and handcuffs in my mom’s bedroom. I can’t believe it.. She’s a superhero!
Some life lessons are so profound; you only need to do them one time. Putting Icy Hot on my balls, for example …