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I feel like I could give a great NBA locker room speech. "Guys, we`re all millionaires, none of this matters."
So they say that having to much sex can cause memory loss, which is just a little something I seem to remember reading in a Rolling Stone magazine once on page 64 paragraphs 3 through 5 while sitting on a park bench October 14th 2002 at 3:46 p.m
People like you remind me how lucky I am that my cell phone provider has a block option! Just sayin.
The circus may no longer come to town but at least we’re guaranteed to always see a few clowns in Washington.
Taco Bell drive-thru should have a “I’m Feeling Lucky” button.
Friday is like a superhero that always arrives just in time to prevent me from savagely beating my coworkers with a keyboard.
My Boss requested me on facebook. I was like "pssst". If only he knew all the sh*t I post about his ugly @$$.
This hangover feels like... I should take a shot.
snooze button, becuase all I need after 8 hours of sleep, is a nap
I get so excited when Facebook tells me there are hot singles in my city who want to meet me. Maybe they want to babysit!
With so many things coming back in style, I can`t wait until morals and intelligence become a trend again.
If you`re behind someone at an ATM at night, let them know you`re not a threat by gently kissing their neck.
If you`re crazy and you know it shake your meds...
Going to make pizza for dinner!! Ingredients Required: Phone, Menu & Credit Card.. Ohhh I can smell it cooking already!! ;)
The new iPhone will have a finger print scanner. Or, in other words, Apple is about to amass the largest database of biometric data in the world. I’m sure the people of NSA are dancing like little school girls right now.