Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
It`s the simple things that make me laugh....mostly you.
I`m a huge fan of screaming "You`re welcome" really loud when people don`t say thank you...
Insert coin to view my status message.
Not sure why my wife is only mad at me, our 4 year old forgot her birthday too.
The guy who decided how to spell bologna was clearly in over his head.
I was in NYC and a black guy asked me if the Yankees won to which I replied, "Yeah, man, you`re free."
Dating these days must be so hard, because how do you know somebody loves you if they don’t make you a mix tape?
Do they have to play movies so loud at the theatre? I litterally have to scream into my phone.
All I ask for is a chance to prove money can`t make me happy.
Is it just me or do mirrors look really sexy?
I find if you sprinkle some bacon bits on a salad, but don’t actually add any salad, then its a pretty good salad.
My anger management class pisses me off
Some people you know was dropped on their heads as babies. Some were clearly thrown in the air, hit the ceiling fan, bounced off the wall and fell out the window.
I start every morning with a simple affirmation: I will not murder anyone today.
I got so much Crazy going on that the term "Bi-Polar" would be excessively underestimating my condition, let`s go with "Multi-Polar" from now on.........