Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I suspect the ancient Greeks would be horrified that we refer to `laying on a couch all weekend watching a TV series` as a "marathon"
I don`t wanna make this weird but that`s just kinda how I do things.
I think I`m a grown up the same way Dr. Phil is a doctor.
Whenever a little kid asks me to push him on the swing I remind him there are children his age in China making iPhones.
Facebook. Where people can express thoughts that otherwise might get them fired, divorced, thrown in a loony bin or all three.
Which nipple does the red jumper cable go on again?
I don`t know why people say life is short....this seems to be taking forever.
OMG!! IT`S MONDAY ... What the f*ck do you think comes after Sunday, Sunday JR. ?
I hear lots of doctors are prescribing medical marijuana for arthritis. Given that arthritis is "inflammation of the joints", it`s fighting fire with fire!
If a woman tells you that you’re right, that’s called sarcasm.
I feel like doing something productive today. If I sit here long enough, maybe it will go away.
The worst part of Aquaman`s day has to be, when he has to kill time on land for half an hour after eating a meal.
If you`re going to be two faced, at least make one of them pretty
I guess if you spoke your mind, you´d be speechless, huh?
Let’s fix the obesity problem AND improve eye-hand coordination by replacing vending machines with claw machines, make people earn snacks.