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They say love is in every corner... my life must be a f*cking circle!
The sense of success when you’ve had something stuck between your teeth and you manage to free it after 25 mins of tactical tongue pressure.
Drinking: because why not intensify the feelings you`re trying to escape?
Going to: ? Paris ? New York ? London ? KITCHEN... I`m hungry
That awkward moment when you gently toss your phone on the bed and it bounces off 3 walls, breaks 2 lamps and kills a cat...
Saw someone try and park a car for about 10 minutes. I didn’t see the person so I’m not going to assume what gender she was.
is having some serious PMS: Parked Motorcycle Syndrome!
I hate it when I get too drunk and just kidding I never hate getting drunk!
Happy Monday!! I`m gonna sit this one out.
Morning workout: Turn on treadmill. Untangle headphones for 14 minutes. Get frustrated, leave and eat doughnuts.
The lady next to me in the elevator told me to press One. That was the last thing I remembered
"Wish You Were Beer!" Wait...no...that`s right...send.
Missed connection: I was a 15 year old boy, you were 1984 Madonna.
Ignoring things don`t make them go away, it makes them drunk dial you.
Hey, did you know that in two days, tomorrow will be yesterday!