Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
One thing`s for sure when I shower with my boyfriend. My titties are spotless!!
A Smart car Zoomed past me And vanished into a pothole.
I did responsible things all day so tonight will consist of nothing that even resembles responsibility.
Perhaps your whole purpose in life is to serve as a warning to others
Today is "National Take Your Flask To Work Day." ... I just made it up. Tell the others.
Social Media Awkwardness: When people "like" a relationship status of being single by your ex instead of yours.
You have got to have worse hand-eye coordination than a lama on crack
Guuuyyyysssss, never ever play leapfrog with a unicorn.... Its not worth it.....
I like dating chicks with kids, because fruity snacks
I just saw a squirrel dragging a wine bottle bag up a tree ... I think I found my spirit animal.
A trail of clothes leading to my bedroom means I dropped them on the way from the dryer.
I used to be in a band called "missing cat". You`ve probably seen our poster.
The worst walk of shame is the one back onto the crowded elevator after getting out on the wrong floor.
It should be a rule that if you dress up like a red hair clown , you get a free happy meal at McDonalds .....I`ll pay this time , but I`m not happy ... !!
My mind is telling me nooo... But my body... My body`s telling me yesss...BABY. Cashier: Sir...would you like fries with that or not?