Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Getting to bed early so I can be well rested and fully alert for my morning anxiety.
I often wondered what it`d be like to be married to an idiot. I asked my wife and she said you get used to it after a while.
I know it`s rude to ask someone about their pregnancy if you`re unsure, but my hubby looks about 4 months along & the suspense is killing me
I`m "keeps a pair of underwear in the glove box because I don`t trust my farts anymore" years old.
I`m already getting into the Thanksgiving spirit, I`ve given the bird to lots of people today.
Sometimes I like to hold the door for people who are far away so they feel obligated to run just a little. ;)
I wish I could just cut out the middleman and have the light honk when it turns green.
My walk of shame is going back for a shopping cart after realizing I can`t carry 23 items in my arms through the store.
Sometimes, I send game request just to piss people off :)
It’s funny how 1 text, 1 song, 1 mistake, 1 lie, 1 truth, and 1 person could change your mood in 1 second.
Facebook posts with 12 hashtags, who the f*ck are you trying to reach?
If opportunity doesn`t knock, build a door.
What is this World Cup and can I drink from it?
insert coin to view my status
Help I`m covered in chameleons & no one believes me