Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I`m on this great new diet where I spend all my grocery money on strippers.
I was an adult once. Then I opened a Facebook account.
Some of you are so dumb, I don`t even know how you found the internet.
Pet stores should post "Chameleon" on empty reptile cages just to see how long people would stand and look.
I stay a bit overweight because it wouldn`t be fair to all the skinny people if I were this attractive, intelligent, funny and thin. It`s a public service really.
Here`s a joke for all you mind readers...
I never met a teenager driving a luxury car that I didn’t hate.
Guys would stay home longer if boobs came in a 30 pack.
A girl drinks 4 cosmos over a span of 60 minutes. 25 mins later, she texts 3 of her besties. How many emojis will she use? Show your work.
The lady next to me in the elevator told me to press One. That was the last thing I remembered
I could be a morning person....if morning happened around noon.
When suffering from insomnia I either count sheep or ask my girlfriend how her day was.
I don’t care if it’s 1 A.M. I don’t consider it “tomorrow” until I wake up.
Just discovered an app that tells you which one of your friends is stupid. It`s called Facebook.
Alright, I give up! I`ve listened to the song like 50 times now, and I still don`t know what the fox is saying!