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The average person farts 14 times a day. Finally, I`m above average at something!!
Whatever you do in life, always give 100%…unless you’re donating blood…
This liquor store needs a dollar menu.
My family is missing that gene that tells you when trash cans are full.
If you`re a grown man walkin around with a winter hat that has animal ears I can tell that @ some point people used 2 take your lunch money
A boob job sounds like the best job in the world.
Ever had one of those days that you feel like you should have skipped the coffee and went straight for the booze?
Ugly is such an ugly word. If I must describe an ugly person I´d prefer to use the term "handsomely-challenged"
Whenever I try cleaning my room I either end up making a bigger mess, or just playing with the stuff I thought I lost.
I`m just saying it might be a good idea for Liam Neeson`s to take his family members to the vet and get them microchipped.
Life hack: You can park wherever you want if you put your hazard lights on and take your tire off.
I wish Facebook wasn`t the only place I could block people from my life.
If you can´t convince them, confuse them.
No, PornHub, I would NOT like to share this video with my friends and family on facebook.
Volleyball is just a more intense game of "Don`t let the balloon touch the floor"