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Whats the difference between a phone number & an opinion? People ask for your phone number.
Please excuse me for talking while you were interrupting.
Got an awesome watch for my birthday. It was waterproof, shockproof, fireproof, bulletproof, acidproof, childproof & scratchproof. I lost it already.
Naked yoga in the backyard is the best way to get the neighbors to pay for that privacy fence.
Sh!t`s spiraling out of control and I`m all like "wheeeee."
Someone once said that I should always treat other people how I would like to be treated. Now I`m facing sexual harassment charges.
Its all fun and games..until you get stuck on a level of candy crush!!!
My wife just said that I was the worst behaved out of all her children.
Sorry for nicking your car w/my door, but you didn`t leave much room. It`s small, but I circled it with my key so you could find it.
Got interrupted downloading the new version of iTunes by a pop up that asked if I wanted to download the even newer version of iTunes.
FB friends, please let me know if you own one of those cool little Smart cars so I can unfriend you.
Jack daniel was found dead by johnie walker at castle strt under savanna tree,captain morgan believed dat he was killed by strongbow.his 4cuzns said that he was best in j&b club at knights...
The more I drink the better my Idea`s seem to get.
If a bag is not resealable then it contains one serving. I don’t make the rules.
I prefer to think outside the box because things can get very dark inside it.