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We`re all just nudists in disguise.
I could kill you with kindness, but shoving you into traffic just saves so much time.
Zoos would be cooler if you had to fight each animal before you could see the next one.
I am addicted to Cold Turkey. Not sure how I will ever quit that one.
I`m not sure it`s possible to fill a moving truck these days without the word "Tetris" being brought into the conversation.
I am not cut out for the CIA. All the opposing side would have to do is tickle me and I’d spill all our nation’s secrets.
I’d be much more interested in meeting people if I didn’t think most people were idiots.
just read a list of "the 100 things to do before you die." I´m pretty surprised "yell for help" wasn´t one of them.
The three most terrifying words a woman can utter to a man are "notice anything different?"
I was blown away when I realised the word " OK " is a side ways person.
Lately I`ve been convinced that some people were born solely for purpose of eventually pissing me off...
I just took the "What Kind of Asshole are You?" quiz and got "The kind that posts my results on Facebook".
If Monday was a movie, it would be very long and boring.
Sometimes I can`t figure out if I`m in pre-school... high school.. oh wait, I`m at work.
Facebook: Cause why drunk dial one person when you can drunk post the world?