Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Have you ever tried blind-folded archery? You don`t know what you`re missing.
I love screwing with the minds of the foreign tech support guys. "My name is Perry, not Terry. With a P as in Pterodactyl."
Momma left strict instructions to knock you out.
My favorite thing about marriage is sharing a house with the person most likely to murder me.
"Three blind mice" is probably the most popular nursery rhyme about animal cruelty
Remember when AT&T told you to "reach out and touch someone" and you ended up with that restraining order? ... Good times!
I made a huge TO DO list for this weekend. I just can`t figure out who`s going to do it.
I`m glad I`ve got boobs. The last thing I need is people making eye contact with me
The 21st century: When deleting history is more important than making it.
I just googled Magnum condoms and I swear I could hear Siri laughing.
Based on how I startle when toast pops up, I will never look cool walking away from an explosion.
That depressing moment when you dip your cookie into milk for too long, it breaks off, and you wonder why bad things happen to good people.
I wonder how the Never-ending story is doing.
Nobody looks back at their life and remembers the nights they got plenty of sleep.
Shout out to the single lady I saw buying a bunch of Duracell batteries on Valentine`s Day.