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I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Whoever said imitation is the sincerest form of flattery hasn`t had a 7yo mimicking their every word for the last 10 minutes.
Stop complaining about being single. We have bigger problems here. Like why McDonald’s doesn’t serve breakfast after 10:30.
Video games are cool because they let you experience fantastical power-fantasies. for example in The SIMS you have a job and a house.
If one goes to online college, do they have to haze them self?
Legos are practice for when you get older & buy Ikea furniture
FACT: How kids feel about snow days is the exact opposite of how parents feel about snow days.
Inventor of camping: "Hey, let`s go pretend to be homeless."
I try not to work that much. That way I make less mistakes.
I wonder who was the first person to see an egg come out of a chicken`s booty and think..."I`m gonna eat that!"
Nice try horror movies, but everyone in my generation is already terrified to answer their phones
The only clubs I’m into are sandwiches.
Never go to bed angry. Stay awake and plot revenge.
It seems racist that they call it Black Friday just because a bunch of people are trying to get into stores in the middle of the night.
"YOU WANNA TAKE THIS OUTSIDE!?" I yell to my husband as I hand him the trash.