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At long last, I`ve finished my research into the effect alcohol has on physical movement.....The results were, quite frankly, staggering.
Today I think I`ll go to a public restroom and wait until someone leaves, then click your stopwatch and write something down in a notebook.
I went to McDonald`s to grab my boys a couple of Happy meals. The guy serving me says "Would you like a Boy Toy"? I was like, "listen hear you little sh!t, you couldn`t handle me if you tried"!! What is this world coming too... :))
Remember when there was more important crap to do besides Facebook all day? Me neither.
"Everybody freeze!" -December
Dear grumpy people: donuts are only $.99
If you`re going to walk a mile in my shoes...Can you pick me up some beer on your way back?
I`m glad I`ve got boobs. The last thing I need is people making eye contact with me
You know that tingly feeling you get when you have a crush on someone? That’s common sense leaving your body.
I`d take Cap`n Crunch more seriously if his eyebrows weren`t on his hat.
I have to stop saying "How stupid can you be?" I think people are taking it as a challenge.
I hate when the remote is way over there
Your girlfriend is rated E... For Everyone
Being unsure has never stopped me from making a decision.
New documentary movie about white trash .... I only saw the trailer ....