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Every loaf of bread is a tragic story of grains that could`ve become beer, but didn`t
I had a really funny joke, but autocorrect ruined the lunchtime.
Tequila... cuz the bed isn`t goin to spin itself!
Warranty – A notice telling the buyer when the product that was just purchased will no longer function.
My wife gives me sound advice. 99% sound. 1% advice.
You laugh because I`m different ........... I laugh because I farted.
Wife: I wish we could have sex like we used to... Husband: Do you mean with other people?
The recommended age to have a Ouija Board is 8+ years old. So, you need to be 21 years old to drink alcohol and 8 to summon the devil.
If you`re wondering why you`re single, date someone. You`ll remember
My body is by no means a temple but it can be one heck of a amusement park ride...
The beeping noise from microwave is always 100x’s louder at night.
After watching the "Schticky" ad, I am convinced now there are 8 wonders of the world.
Your girlfriend is rated E... For Everyone
We could learn a lot from bees. Organization, productivity, community sacrifice, stinging people who annoy us.......
They say money doesn`t bring you happiness.... I say....neither does being broke....