Mobile App Coming Soon - Daily Silly Status

Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

A world without women would be a pain in the a$$.
Why can`t I get service in my own home, but the god damn Taliban can upload videos from a cave in Afghanistan!?
Started a new exercise routine yesterday. So far I`ve only missed one day.
This year for Lent I`m giving up hanging out with all the people who gave up drinking for Lent.
If one goes to online college, do they have to haze them self?
Once you commit to the idea of a closed casket funeral it really takes a lot of pressure off how you live your life.
I think every Taco Bell value meal should be called a "Number 2".
A cheap way to get Botox face is by walking your dog in zero degree temperature.
Quick Hide! Monday is Coming!!
If the shoe fits, wear it. And if these shoes belong to someone else, walk away briskly.
When I ask a girl I like why she and her ex broke up and she says "we just didn`t work out" I already know I have no chance since I hate working out
If your father is poor, Its your fate, but if your father-in-law is poor, then its your fault!
WARNING: Every single thing I post from here on in, is alcohol induced.
I`m super lazy today. Which is like normal lazy but I`m also wearing a cape.
80% of my life is pulling percentages out of thin air and stating them as facts...