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Me, watching the Olympics: "That was impressive." Announcer: "ANOTHER DISASTROUS MISTAKE!"
Some women need to realize that showing cleavage doesn`t fix your face.
I bring my kids to a romantic restaurant on Valentine`s day as a birth control reminder to the other couples.
Always keep a note in your medicine cabinet that says, “I thought you were peeing?”
How about putting that screaming kid on vibrate
If a bra is called an `Over the shoulder bolder holder,` then would you call men`s underwear `Under the butt nut hut?`
Sometimes I mop the carpet just so my wife doesn`t ask me to help with stuff.
Women only call me ugly until they find out how much money I make. Then they call me ugly and poor.
Fact: No one has ever "Jumped in the shower."
It`s always darkest before the dawn. So if you`re going steal your neighbor`s newspaper that`s be the time to do it.
Your 15 second video will start after this 30 min. commercial...
Who’s that sexy beast…………..oh I clicked on my own profile again. ;)
I feel sorry for men who don’t know how to value women. One look at a woman and I know how much she will cost me.
Ok Brazil, this would be a time when it`s ok to bite an opponent.
I’m pretty sure I have atleast one anscestor who would be pretty pissed to find out that helicopters exist and I can’t fly one.