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I don`t understand no one has excepted my boiling water challenge
I don`t know what`s scarier. Houses with Halloween decorations or houses that still have up Christmas decorations from last year.
is battling with eyelids
Just saw a group of kids trying to put another kid into a dumpster, I had to step in, They couldn`t even lift him, We high-fived & laughed
A cheap way to get Botox face is by walking your dog in zero degree temperature.
You know you’re ugly when it comes to a group picture and they hand you the camera.
I sure did waste a lot of time as a kid practicing my autograph.
My "check engine" light came on while driving to work this morning. I looked and the engine is still there...silly light.
Just picked the remote up off the floor with my feet while lying on the couch, so I guess today was leg day...
Whenever I select next-day delivery for an online purchase, I imagine someone, somewhere, yells "CODE RED, CODE RED" really loud then people scurry like mad.
Lessons learned from last night: There is no such thing as a goalie in darts.
Without coffee, I’m just a really tall 2 year old.
I’ve never met a weekend that I didn’t like.
Gravity didn`t seem this strong twenty-five years ago.
So I danced like no one was watching. My court date is pending.