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Adding lyrics when you don`t know the words or making words up when you don`t speak the language. ;)
I don`t have friends, I have acquaintances and parasites.
It’s hard to get a lot done when you’re busy having a snack every 15 minutes
Sanity is so overrated. I mean, it`s a nice place to visit, but I wouldn`t want to live there....
I can`t decide if people who wear pajamas in public have given up on life or are living it to the fullest.
"I like your tree`s earring." ... "That`s a tire swing."
When I think of all the money I’ve spent on booze in my life, I wish I had it all back. Imagine all the booze I could buy!
auto-correct has got to be my worst enema.
Thanks for the free weekend offer E-Harmony but my wife said I can`t use it.
Imagine if someone`s name was Gurt. You`d be all "yo gurt!" .. funny? no? Ok (._.)
Alcohol doesn`t get people drunk, people get people drunk. Drunk people get other drunk people extra drunk.
“I saw that.” -Karma
Is your family tree a cactus? Because everyone on it is a prick.
Sometimes words are not enough. That`s why I always like to keep a baseball bat with me, just in case...
I wish there was a reality show where people learned grammar.