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To me, the worst part of the prostate exam is when the doctor says, "Guess how many fingers."
Our parents always taught us NOT to write on walls... Facebook teaches us differently
i never said i knew what i was doing, i said i was going to do it anyway :)
Things I`ve learned: There`s no cool way to chase after a bouncing ping-pong ball.
Now that the Summer is over, I can finally stop pretending to be on a diet
Here`s a list of the things I have to look forward to today: 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. Drinking after work
Today please just pretend I wrote something hilarious, click like, and move on down the news feed.
There`s a lot of perks being a single parent, for one no witnesses.
I may or may not have just "Whipped my Hair Back and Forth".......
I wonder if the two guys arguing over r2d2 and roadrunner ever get laid.
That mind-blowing moment when you realize chores were really the crap your parents didn’t want to do.
Spent 40 minutes on the treadmill this morning. Next time I might turn it on.
Garage sales are the gateway drug to Walmart.
Nice tan, what`s your race? Carrot?
Just got back from the car dealership and long story short, I`m now the proud owner of a giant circus tent.