Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
If I could choose any one mythological creature to become alive & real, I`d have to pick: My girlfriend.
You never really know a woman, until she takes you to court.
My New Year`s resolution is to stop pointing my car alarm remote at my apartment front door expecting to unlock it
Never make decisions when you are angry....or horny.
You`re never too old to be spanked ...If you play your cards right.
Let`s face it. Seeing a camel toe in leopard print tights at Walmart is probably the closest any of us will ever get to going on an African safari.
Shout out to all the ladies at church today in the same clothes from the club last night.
Remember waffles are just pancakes ribbed for your pleasure
I`ll give up my thesaurus when you pry it from my frigid, frosty, frozen, cadaverous, lifeless, stiff, defunct extremities.
OMG, what a day I had. If Monday was a guy, I`d punch him in the throat!
I went to see the doctor today for my annual check-up. The good news is the he says I`m healthy as a horse. The bad news is he uses large farm animals to
ooooh boy, Mother`s Day hangovers...always the worst huh?!
I snuck popcorn into the movie theatre but they won`t let me use their microwave.
When 12 year old girls call each other honey and sweet heart...
Who ever says "words can`t hurt you" has never been hit in the face with a dictionary.