Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Sometimes I like to go to the hardware store and run around with a screwdriver shouting, "Ladies and gentlemen, this is not a drill!"
I love long legs.... Long sexy legs..... But not on a Spider, I hate long sexy legs on a Spider.
I wonder how many hobbies you have to suck at before you take up bird watching.
That logical moment when you`re watching Home Alone 2 wondering how child services haven`t taken him away from his parents yet.
It isn`t until your kids start talking back that you realize dogs would`ve been a better option.
Have we considered putting Scooby Doo and the gang on the Malaysian airplane caper?
Every dog is a badass until you decide to vacuum.
Thanks to the popularity of gifs, we are living in the golden age of silent films.
Did anyone else go into a furious, violent rage when they found out that George Lucas filmed most of Star Wars here on Earth?
If you pour two beers into one glass, it becomes just one beer.
I hate laundry, dishes, sweeping, mopping, dusting, fixing and fetching. The only logical conclusion is that I am descended from royalty.
I was disappointed to learn that ‘landlady’ isn’t the opposite of a mermaid.
Don`t talk about yourself so much... we`ll do that when you leave.
If you watched the story of my life backwards, you`d see an incredibly inspirational story about hair growth, weight loss, and vastly improved athletic ability.
No matter where you live, there’s always 1 light switch that doesn’t do anything.