Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Somedays I could do without the life lesson
Never trust anyone who says “Im not supposed to tell anyone but”
Before I wash my socks, I just throw one in the trash.
Men look at boobs for the same reason women look at puppies in a cage, we just want to set them free.
Men hang out in bars for one of two reasons: Either they have no wife to go home to, or they do
I can`t believe I was late for work tomorrow..
Oh honey, you`re not pretty enough to be that stupid
I`m so broke right now if anybody robbed me they`d just be practicing
I’m glad you spent $80 on makeup to look like a $5 whore. Well done
I`m not feeling myself today..... Perhaps I should feel someone else.
I never finish anyth...............
Knowledge is power, and power corrupts. So study hard and be evil.
Just finished building Rome with Legos. Took me a day.
Besides being curled up on the bathroom floor convinced I was dying from liver failure for a few hours, last night was fun.
Showed the kids here how to eat corn-on-the-cob typewriter style........ Now explaining typewriter.