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Netflix is raising rates again? Man, whoever`s password I`m using has got to be pissed!
I want to cover you in expensive things…like gasoline.
I’m probably single because I forgot to forward those chain messages from 2008.
That`s not how I met your mother.
I can`t even tell what this thing in my fridge use to be.
My fake plant died because I didn`t pretend to water it
Some will forget, the others are simply women.
Nothing says “I don’t give a sh!t” like a Hawaiian shirt.
If you don`t pay your exorcist do you get repossessed?
Save time. See it my way.
Facebook: Wasting peoples lives since 2004
So apparently there are two types of white towels in my house. Ones to dry off and ones to touch if you want your fingers broke.
I don`t know what I`d do without coffee...Probably twenty five to life in the state penitentiary.
I`ve totally cut carbs out of my diet. Until lunch.
"kill it before it lays eggs" - is my standard suggestion to any problem