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All I see on Facebook is penis, orgasm, bang him, bang her, bullwhip, masturbate, porn, tits, and then I read everyone else`s posts..
Do you suppose prison guards could use `PROACTIV` to prevent outbreaks?
I will be buried in a spring loaded casket filled with confetti! I just want a future archaeologist to have a great day!
I wish the buck stopped here…I could use a few.
Hey dumb a$$. Not everything I post pertains to you. Just the stuff that starts with Hey dumb a$$.
One square left on the toilet roll and no extras in the cupboard. Well played, honey. Well played.
*uses Ouija board* NEW PHONE WHO DIS
I am deleting my twitter right now! Not to seem paranoid but I think people are following me!
Improve your memory by doing unforgettable things.
I`d like to read an obituary that says "He laid down the boogie and played that funky music till he died."
i forgot how to put a status ... can anyone help me ?
My boss was all, "Do you know why I called you to the office, " and I was like, "I dunno is there a hidden security camera in the bathroom."
Setting the alarm clock proves I`m capable of making the same mistake every day.
You have no idea how funny I am to me.
I swear July only lasted like 3 minutes