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I feel bad for lions at zoos. How would you feel if a bunch of pizzas came to your house, took your picture, and you couldn`t even eat them.
My teen thought it`d be funny to post as me on Facebook. I laughed and laughed and changed the wi-fi password. Good times!
I knew you were coming so I baked a cake ... It was delicious.
Is it just me or does chocolate taste even better late at night, hence the the last four letters of the word chocoLATE?!
Whenever I start to hate my job I think about the camera crew who has to follow the Kardashian’s 24/7.
I`m not sure it`s possible to fill a moving truck these days without the word "Tetris" being brought into the conversation.
Sticks and stones, break my bones, but hollow points expand on impact!
I’ve discovered, the easiest way to change a flat tire is by not wearing a bra.
If you really think about it, "Nightlife" is just a fancy word for drinking alcohol at a place that isn`t your house.
I was in the gym earlier and decided to jump on the treadmill. People were giving me weird looks, so I started jogging instead.
Do you remember that creepy guy who stood behind you on a train 6 years ago and was smelling your hair? Hi!
Who am I calling stupid?? Good question.... What`s your name?!
People who say "Don`t mix drugs with alcohol"" ... they`re stupid, right?
Hey ladies breastfeeding in public, why don`t you ever smile in my pictures?
If something`s worth doing, it`s worth doing rihgt.