Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Dear Customer Service: First of all, you should know that I`m typing this with my middle finger.
I like to friend friends of friends then unfriend the first friend to freak out the friend of a friend.
Looks like Waldo got on the malasian plane.. well played waldo.. well played..
Plan B includes margaritas.
Yes, I know how to shut up. I just don´t know when.
The good thing about being 6' 6? is that if I develop a bald patch, no one will see it..Unless you’re using Google Earth.
I saw the city workers putting up a sign on my street and it says Bumpy road ... so I put up a sign that says ,, FIX IT !
My boyfriend is being so nice to me since I showed him how easy it was to remove blood from carpeting...
Story of my life : 1. i wake up .... 2. i go to school.... 3. i see a girl .... 4. i run to her and kiss her.... Actually, the right order is 2,3,4,1 ..
I hope this snowstorm doesn`t impact my schedule of aimlessly wasting my day online.....
I dream of a day when a mysterious hand will pop out of the screen and b!tch-slap you silly each time you post a boring or stupid status.
I don`t have a drinking problem, you have a problem with my drinking. Big difference.
I wonder how many people die each year as a result of lifeguards running in slow motion.
I don`t get women. Also, I don`t understand them.
I start every morning with a simple affirmation: I will not murder anyone today.