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"Give me your finest meal, money is of no concern." ~ Me at McDonald`s on pay day.
Sometimes, late at night in the market..i switch up all the color tubes in the hair dye kits.
You’d think “attractive neighbor leaves curtains open” would appear in more real estate listings.
I hate that I have to put on clothes to participate in society.
I hide my vodka in orange juice
Don`t ``Wine and dine`` me ... ``Champagne`` me ... step it up a notch
My wife gives me sound advice. 99% sound. 1% advice.
Right before I die, I am going to swallow a bag of popcorn kernels to make the cremation a bit more interesting.
When cleaning my house: 1% Cleaning 30% Complaining 69% Playing with stuffs that I just found
Why is the jolly Green giant so damn jolly
It`s not that I CAN`T be good, it`s that I`m SOOOOO much better at being BAD!!!
Don`t be ashamed of who you are. That`s your parents job.
Iwent to Office Max to buy a drawing board, but they were sold out. I guess it`s back to the....oh rats...
Her profile said she was a stone cold freak. Turns out she was just a wrestling fan with bad capitalization skills. :(
Just saw two homeless guys hitting each other with a piece of cardboard................PILLOW FIGHT!!!!!!