Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Parents, forget about teaching your kids about the birds and the bees. Teach your kids the difference between their, they`re and there.
Having kids is like continually cleaning up after a huge party that you didn`t attend.
Always remember to speak clearly when complimenting a woman`s boots...
Apparently, the answer `I know.` is not a good answer when your friend tells you how awesome his girlfriend is in bed.
People assume when I yawn that I’ve lost interest in what they have to say but truth be told, I was never interested.
I like to spend Monday morning trying to remember what I was avoiding doing at work on Friday.
No, I’m not funny. I’m just really mean and everyone thinks I’m joking.
I think "Don`t Kid Yourself" would be a great brand name for birth control pills....
Brains are awesome! I wish everyone had one...
The only instant messaging I enjoy is with my middle finger.
If Mary Poppins floated in on an umbrella today, they`d shoot her out of the sky with a drone.
How to Train Your Dragon offers no practical dragon training information. NONE. Zero stars.
Have you ever held your money and thought "I hope this hasn´t been up a stripper´s butt"
If you`re "just sayin", then just shut the hell up.
Bank called asking if my credit card had been stolen. They were concerned because it hadn`t been used at the liquor store since Friday.