Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
If Google can`t find the answer, it`s not a question.
I see your arguement contains a lot of swear words, you must really know what you`re talking about
I have cat-like reflexes. If I hear a loud noise, I keep napping.
When I die I want my body donated to science, but more specifically a scientist who is working on bringing dead guys back to life…
Falling in love is just like falling down a well, except one is dank, dark and scary, and can really hurt you, and the other is a well.
Sometimes I find myself envious of how well Waldo can hide..
You call it "Road Rage". I call it "Aggressively maneuvering around a$$holes that don`t know how to f*cking drive."
To be honest with you, I start all my lies with to be honest with you.
Life is a constant battle between my love of food & not wanting to get fat.
I`m sorry, all I hear is your perfume
A "Lifetime Movie" describes how long it felt when you were watching it.
There`s something I need to get off my chest: Darned Cheetos crumbs.
Teacher: what comes after 69. Little Johnny: Mouthwash. Teacher: Get out!!!
I`ve been baptized five times this week in five different churches. I wish the landlord would hurry up and fix my shower.
The man who created the Thesaurus has died. He`ll be fondly remembered, commemorated, memorialized, recalled and recollected.