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You seem to love cocktails... or part of it.
I may contain scenes of violence, nudity and foul language.
I just leased a 2013 lamborghini, no payments till January. Those f@kin Mayans better be right.
I don´t like to think of myself as "Special"... I think I would call me a limited edition.
I thought I was a bit hardcore until I saw this guy sucking on a soy sauce packet like an Otter Pop.
People liking my status from a week ago on Facebook proves that I have stalkers.
The amount of alcohol I would need to sleep with you would actually kill me.
My husband woke up this morning with a HUGE smile on his face. I love Sharpie markers.
joined a nudist colony last week ... the first few days were the hardest!
Sorry I didn`t answer when you called, I had 6 Peeps in my mouth
I`m about to eat gas station breakfast. Tell my family that I love them.
I`m never free but I`m available.
Some mornings it`s best to just fill the sink with coffee, dunk your head in it, and suck.
I wish people were like Internet videos and you could tap them lightly to see a clock of how much longer they`re going to be talking.
Milk Duds: When you want some candy but also crave a dislocated jaw