Daily Silly Status

We should do this “3-day weekend” thing more often.

I`ve noticed more and more little kids with cell phones and social networks. What does a kindergartner have to tweet about? "I`m getting better at drawing in the lines!" #cantwaitforstorytime

The only dates I get are updates.

I`m sorry I snort-laughed when you were saying your vows.

All this time I thought PTA stood for Parents to Avoid

Enough with procrastination, it’s time for excuses.

I’m always impressed when I can stump auto-correct...

Sometimes I think "What would Dexter do"?

Shopping for bridesmaid dresses with 5 other women, today. If you never hear from me again, I committed suicide by nail file.

Guys are like bears, if you lay very still they’ll paw at you a bit then give up and go look for food.

I’m at the age where all my posts start with the phrase “I’m at the age where.”

Screw doing situps...teddy bears don`t and everyone loves them.

Girl: What color are my eyes? Guy: 34D.

Growing up we were so poor. If I wasn`t a boy I would have had nothing to play with.

Friday Night Inspirational Message: You miss 100% of the shots you don`t drink.