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I spend too much money on food to afford any diet program...
I bet Waldo’s parents are worried sick.
My life is about as organized as the $5 DVD bin at Wal-mart.
I would like to think I will die a heroic death, but it`s more likely I`ll trip over my dog and choke on a spoonful of frosting.
50 notifications later I regret ever commenting on your status.
I`d like to give a shoutout to all the people who are going through an identity crisis, you know who you are... I think.
One of the best uses I`ve ever found for invisible ink is when I signed my marriage license with it.
Destiny may decide who touches your Life. Your heart may decide who touches your Soul. But…Tequila decides who touches your body
I`ll see your fun outdoor activity and raise you a nap.
Neighbors at it again. I do NOT want to know the words to "Wrecking Ball" by Miley Cyrus!
Happy 15th birthday google, 3 more years and you will be able to search for adult sites legally
*pulls shirt back down* I guess I don`t understand what a flash mob actually is.
I want to take this moment to thank the depends adult diaper company for allowing me to play my video game for a strait 8 hours uninterupted...
I`m just like you ... Only smarter and better looking.
No one texts faster than a gossiping woman.