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Seriously, ladies. If you just stop sleeping with douchebags eventually their species will go extinct. Look at the big picture here.
Thanks to Facebook i now know what everyones bathroom looks like.
Remember that there’s always someone cooler, smarter, stronger or prettier than you. That would be me.
I`m getting really tired of being really tired of stuff.
What`s a burnt pizza, frozen beer, & a pregnant girl have in common? In each scenario, there`s a dumb guy who didn`t take it out in time.
Dear Santa: I have been good for the past week or so. Lets just focus on that.
Long time ago I used to be young and handsome.. Today? Just handsome
I have this empty feeling inside of me. Wait, there`s my drink.
A high-pressure hose will usually stop a coworker from showing you any more baby photos.
The only reason I keep people`s phone numbers in my phone is to avoid their calls..
Had a bad mixup at the store today. Cashier said strip down facing me. Apparently she meant my credit card.
I´m not cheap, but I am on special this weekend. ;)
Sometimes, I`m offended at how easily offended some people get.
Anyone going to stare at their phones anywhere cool this weekend?
Always love a woman for her personality. They have like 10, so you can choose.