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I cannot even begin to imagine the conversation that led to the first circumcision.
It`s funny how when you post a status and some people think it`s about them..Hahahaha it was.
I have to admit my heart broke a little when I heard the lady at Starbucks call the guy in line behind me "sweetie" too.
I don`t know why beer companies bother with an expiration date. It`s never going to make it anywhere near that.
Someday you may lose your hair, you may lose your teeth, your money and even lose your mind. But one thing you will never lose – your good looks, coz you can never lose what you don’t have!
life is too short to think twice and act wise....
I`m growing a mullet to test our friendship.
People go to the bar hoping for two things ... to get hammered or to get nailed.
I bet genies were a real thing until one jerk wished for genies not to exist anymore.
You’ll never be as young as you are now.
*Sees my name in a math textbook* class: *stares at me* me: "yeah b!tches I bought 60 watermelons"
“We don`t lick people!” - Lies adults tell kids
"Truth or dare" should be renamed to "Interrogation or Humiliation"
Facebook is like a nude beach. Everybody lets everything hang out, and you really don`t want to see a lot of it...
LIFE HACK: Answer your phone "Hello you`re on the air" and 99% of the time people will just hang up