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I inboxed a girl on Facebook and she never replied. I guess you could say we`re `seen` each other.
Fun Fact: Even though they call it a "man hole", you can shove women and children down it just fine.
When I’m getting off a crowded elevator I like to turn & look at someone who’s staying on and say,, “You’re in charge while I’m gone.”
Girl: What color are my eyes? Guy: 34C
Statistics show that 3 out of 5 people.. aren`t the other 2.
Writing "Omg you guys are still friends after what she said about you???" on every group photo of girls I see on Instagram
"Have you been drinking . sir?" asks the policeman. "Go Pikachu! Thunderbolt!" "Sir, did you just throw a hamster at my head?"
It’s what’s on the inside that counts, unless you’re talking about one of those hollow chocolate bunnies.
Cats have tails so you can swing them around. Duh.
I´m really bored but too lazy to do anything about it.
Every day is just a new opportunity to eat pizza.
new years resolution #1: stop losing the powerball
One day your prince will come. Mine just took a wrong turn, got lost and too stubborn to ask for directions.
hell yeah !!!! i was the lucky sperm !!!!!
Why do they call it "Jew-ish"? Are they not Jew enough?